Monday, December 21, 2009

A great day for kissing



Are you under the mistletoe? Today is Kissing Day Blogfest, and almost sixty people signed up to write a scene for your swooning pleasure. Gustav Klimt's famous The Kiss seems a perfect accompaniment for my little scene from a YA paranormal/fantasy, a work-in-progress called Sea Daughters.
"What's wrong? You're a million miles away." Ben slipped his arm around Hallie as they sat on his living room sofa. He was so close she could smell the freshness of his just-laundered shirt.
Hallie's heart fluttered, just like the rapid beat of a tiny bird she'd held as a child. Ben's parents were away and she knew he wanted to make love to her, at least as much as she'd allow.
The trouble was she didn't know what she might allow. She'd become confused about life, how tenuous it is, how it could change like quicksilver before you knew what happened. She wanted to be saturated with Ben's kisses in case she was about to lose him.
If he found out who she really was he would flee, she was sure.
He reached in his pocket and pulled out a shell bracelet. "I got this for you. Kinda simple, but it goes with your necklace." His hand shook a bit as he held it out to her.
"It's beautiful." She fumbled with the clasp, her eyes tearing. The bracelet slipped from her wrist.
Ben grabbed it before it hit the floor, and his large hands became steady as he deftly hooked the tiny clasp. "I like having something from me wrapped around you, even when I'm not there."
He kissed her palm. The brush of his breath caused a warm rush to surge through her.
He looked up, his eyes meeting hers, and she wanted nothing more than to dive into those blue depths and not think about the other deep that pulled stronger every day.
"Sometimes life is more complicated than we ever imagine it could be," she said.
"What has got you twisted in knots? I will help you untangle it. I will slay dragons, help you write essays, punch out anyone who hassles you, cover you with kisses. Whatever you need, baby."
She smiled. "My hero."
"I wish I was. But sometimes I think you will leave me behind. It's a feeling I get."
For a moment Hallie couldn't speak. "I don't want to go places without you. Ever. But I get caught up in stuff and can't always talk to you about what's going on. I want to be able to tell you everything."
His arms wrapped around her and anchored her in a safe harbor. This time, she could feel his heart--a steady drum.
"Don't leave me," she whispered. "No matter what."
His face was in her hair, his breath hot. "Nothing could ever make me leave you."
Not even my darkest secret? She banished the thought. Her mouth found his--lips parted, hint of peppermint.
His hands tangled in her hair. Hers slid around his waist. His kisses trailed down her neck to her collarbone like liquid fire. She flamed and melted. She was wax on a candle. There was nothing but Ben.

47 comments:

Natalie said...

Lovely Tricia! I want to know what her secret is!

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

OOOoh very nice Tricia!

Amalia T. said...

I love the imagery at the end here--the flame and melt, wax on the candle. Very nice! I really want to know what her secret is, too!

Jeannie Campbell, LMFT said...

the last paragraph is fantastic. just wonderful metaphors. great job!

jeannie
Where Romance Meets Therapy

Nickles said...

Oh, I loved this! I'm so intrigued. I want to know what she's keeping from him and how he'll feel about her after he learns about it. Plus, the kiss was great; loved the metaphor to wax on a candle.

Carol J. Garvin said...

Mmmm, delicious! Passion and mystery all tangled together. :)

Donna said...

Passion perfectly expressed: "something from me wrapped around you" and "she flamed and melted."

Davin Malasarn said...

I didn't know about Kissing Day, but I'm glad you posted this. After hearing you talk about this book, I was very curious to read more of it. Great scene!

Karen Denise said...

Good work, Tricia! Lovely, just lovely.

Wendy Sparrow said...

I loved the last paragraph too. Mmm.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Thanks, everyone! I'm loving the comments. This is such a fun fest.

storyqueen said...

This scene weaves so much into it! In just a few paragraphs, I know so much about your characters...and I already feel for them....and I want them to end up together!

And, there is still that lyrical quality that infuses all of your writing.

Well done and thanks for sharing it!

Shelley

Nisa said...

"Secret" is the magic word to get me hooked on just about anything. Curiosity is great!

Tamika: said...

Now I'm dying to know what the secret is?!! I loved the passion they exuded for one another.

Great reading!

Kelly Lyman said...

Love it! I want to know what her dark secret is. I love how he is willing to do anything for her- even slay dragons!

V. S said...

Beautiful metaphors! I'm dying to know her dark secret? I wonder... I want more!

Elle Strauss said...

Dark secrets always get in the way, don't they?

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Thanks, everyone! I'm so glad the dark secret is tugging at people and the passion comes through.
And, Shelley, wow, thanks for such a comment.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Fantastic!! And I just loved it when he said:
"I like having something from me wrapped around you, even when I'm not there."
**sigh**

sherrinda said...

Oooooooo!!! Like wax on a candle...what pretty words you weave! I love it! And I, too, want to know the dark secret! Great job!!!! Thanks sooo much for participating and making the day so fun!

Melissa said...

I'll echo everybody's sentiments - I really want to know the secret. This is great!

VR Barkowski said...

Superb, Tricia! Now, about that dark secret...

Stephanie Thornton said...

Swoon!

I love Gustav Klimt and The Kiss is my second favorite painting of his. My fave is This Kiss For All the World. There's something about angels singing in the background of that kiss that just strikes me as poetic.

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

I was sooo hoping you'd post a scene from your WIP. LOVED it! I know the secret!!!! :) Waterlogged minds think alike. Great job. Cant wait to read the whole thing.
Karen’s Blog

Iapetus999 said...

Makes me want to know what the secret is...

Good job!

Jordan McCollum said...

I'm with everybody! I want to know this secret. Hm . . . .

Mary said...

Love the imagery as she melts in passion. Very nice.

The romantic query letter and the happy-ever-after said...

I like your style. It's both lyrical and romantic. The stark sweetness of them together charmed me complete. Thanks for sharing your talent with me.
Warm regards,
Simone.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

You guys are the greatest! I'm loving these comments. WELCOME to all and thank you so much.

Jennifer, that's my favorite line, too.
Stephanie: I went to see the Klimts in Vienna. *sigh*
Karen: I hope you are still as excited as I am about your project, and thanks!

T. Anne said...

I have to tell you with the most sincerity possible, you are a terrific writer! This is my kind of novel. LOVED it!

Julie said...

Excellent imagery. I love the part about his arms 'anchoring her in a safe harbor'. What a great way to think of it!

Jade said...

I LOVED the end. That was really beautiful.

Tabitha Bird said...

Love those last few sentences. Wax on candle. Nothing but Ben. Beautifully written Tricia.

Have a wonderful Christmas.

Tina Lynn said...

"...liquid fire..." Oh, yes. I know what you mean. Wow, loved the extended metaphor. Nicely done.

giddymomof6 said...

oooh! I LOVED this! So awesome... and of course, it makes you wonder what her secret is...

Jenni James

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

T. Anne: I'm humbled. Wow, thank you.

EVERYONE: I am in heaven that so many of you picked out my favorite lines and mentioned them. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Bish Denham said...

Beautifully done!

Linda Kage said...

I'm curious about the secret too. Love the use of all the senses, made me feel like I was there, watching them in real life. Gosh, I'm such a voyeur!

Lisa and Laura said...

Nicely done! What is her big secret? I'd love to read more!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Bish, Linda & LiLa: Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I'm working furiously on this one. Bringing a chapter to crit group tonight.

Jay said...

Really really nice! What's the big secret, I wonder!

elizabeth mueller said...

Wow...so fascinating! I wonder what the secret is? I can't wait to find out!

You can read mine right here! Let me know what you think!
:)

Hayley said...

The last line was just, wow, awesome. And I'm itching to know what her secret is. It was an amazing scene!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Welcome Jay, Elizabeth and Hayley: Thanks so much!

Terresa said...

THis post hits me on many levels.

First off, I adore Klimt. I started writing a YA fantasy novel last year based on several of his paintings, this one included. I've long since exhausted my list of beloved Klimt favorites by posting the on my blog (several months back).

Also, the love of my life is named Ben. That name just sticks with me.

And the candle/flame analogy you have is brilliant!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Terresa: Glad on many levels that you liked it. :D

kanishk said...

very nice Tricia!

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