Saturday, January 2, 2010

No-Kiss Blogfest is here!


Today is made of fun. Dozens of writers are posting almost-kisses for your reading delight. Links to my fellow scribes are at Frankie Writes. Trust me, you'll have a blast whether you write or read.
My snippet is from a shelved novel-in-progress that someday I may be good enough to tackle. I'm not revealing the wacky premise, but I will tell you it's tongue-in-cheek (ha!) adult fantasy. The present-day heroine, Helen, is trying to track down gods of myth because she has good cause to believe in them now. She is in Greece when she runs into Artemis and her brother, Apollo. Yes, the very Apollo that John William Waterhouse painted chasing Daphne before she chose to do something quite rash to escape his amorous advance.
Before I launch into my scene, I shall report to the Accountability Watchers that the first day of 2010 I met my stated daily goal of writing 1,000 words of my YA novel Sea Daughters. Yay!
Now onto the blogfest! This excerpt is from a yet-untitled work and takes place as Apollo joins Artemis and sees Helen for the first time:
"Who's this?" Apollo ran his languid gaze over Helen from her face to her bare legs and sandaled feet.
Before she could answer, he reached out and touched a gash on her thigh where she'd been cut by thick branches. Slow to heal, the wound was gaping and scarlet, but with Apollo's touch, it closed up and faded in moments.
"Thank you," Helen whispered, awed by this proof of his legendary healing power. Now she knew at least one part of the myth was true.
He moved in so close his face was within inches of hers. She couldn't help but notice that his skin was flawless and beardless as a boy's and his jaw and cheekbones were as finely chiseled as the statues depicted him.
"You're a pretty thing," he murmured. His breath was a caressing breeze that carried the music of a lyre. A lyre? Had she ever heard one? His lips were so close to hers, she felt as if they'd almost touched.
He had sunbeams in his hazel eyes. Or was it flecks of gold? He shimmered. Honey on his breath, silk on his fingers under her chin. She leaned toward his lips, which held a promise of nectar.
His other hand began to trace a path up her thigh. Fire in dry grass.
Helen clamped her legs together, causing Apollo to raise his golden eyebrows.
Her head felt full of cotton, her tongue thick with passion. "Remember Daphne," she blurted, finding words. It's not every day a girl turns herself into a tree rather than be a god's conquest.
He looked truly grieved. "I wear her laurel always." He pulled back his hands from Helen's skin.
She shivered, as if he'd taken the sun away. Would it have been so wrong to let him kiss her, to taste the lips of a god? Helen shook her head to clear it. Of all people, she knew the answer to that.

58 comments:

laurel said...

Fun premise. But alas, my branches are a passion killer... :-(

Nice, Tricia!

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Eeeek! I forgot about No-Kissing blogfest because of all the chaos of moving. Yours was the first I read but now I want to pull up my MS and find my almost-kiss scene.
I loved yours. That sounds like a story I would def read. And I need to know if she ever kisses him!My Blog

sherrinda said...

Mmmm, the promise of nectar and honey on his breath. Very nice!!!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Laurel: Hahahahaha! Yes, indeed, I think that was Daphne's plan. Helen has other plans.

Karen: I hope the move went smoothly and your new writing room is up and running! I'll be checking to see if you get a scene up today. You know, I want to read it. And thanks for the vote of confidence--this is the weirdest storyline I've ever concocted.

Sherrinda: Thank you!

storyqueen said...

This scene was HOT!

I love knowing what's going on in Helen's mind...A lyre?? just awesome.

Already pulled in...

(I am thinking you could play with this story-what little I know of it- in YA....the writing is too good just to leave it behind)

Well done!

Shelley

Nickles said...

I love your descriptions! Great scene! I hope you continue working on it.

Iapetus999 said...

Hmm...I wonder what the answer is to the last line...
Good job! He's like a living statue.

Amalia T. said...

I love this premise, and I'm really interested to know more. I especially like the line about the lyre, when she wonders if she's ever even heard one, but recognizes it in Apollo's voice.

for NaNoWriMo I wrote a novel about Helen of Troy, so this is totally my kind of story!

Yvonne said...

Wow.

"He began to trace a path up her thigh. Fire in dry grass."

I think you're good enough.

Superb. Bravo!!!

I guess it's time to bite the bullet....

Elle Strauss said...

Great lines in here--

Fire in dry grass; She shivered, as if he'd taken the sun away.

good job.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Shelley: Oh, thank you! I so value your opinion. When I started writing this story a couple of years ago, I got the tone wrong until I wrote the god scenes. I know now that I need to approach this story from that angle. Another unfinished story on my plate. But that's incentive, right? ;)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Nickles: Thank you. I guess I will dust it off and begin to contemplate what I want to do with it.

Andrew: Yeah, she is in deep trouble because of a god, so she does know better.

Amalia: I enjoyed using his powers to infiltrate her thoughts and perceptions of him. The lyre being one of them. Glad you liked it!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Yvonne: Your comment means a lot to me, and I can't wait to read what you post. *smiling silly*

Elle: Thank you so much. This has been really fun.

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

OOoh that was sooooo fun! I loved it. Apollo is yummy. Thanks so much for posting and participating in the No Kiss Blogfest!!

Donna Gambale said...

Gods are so much fun! My favorite little piece: "A lyre? Had she ever heard one?" -- because it hints to so much that Helen doesn't know about herself.

Linda Kage said...

Oh, yum. Very nice indeed, though who could resist the kiss of that god. Wow. Loved it. Thanks for sharing. I was sucked in.

Ash. Elizabeth said...

you really should pull it back off the shelf : )

Shannon Messenger said...

I can't believe that's all you're giving me. I want more. More!!!!!!!!

Awesome scene. I kinda think you need to dust this off and give it another look because it's great. Loved all the metaphors in there. Great stuff! So glad I've found your blog. :)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Frankie: Thank you for hosting! I've had a great time with this and love everybody's snippets.

Donna: Yes, she is on a journey of much discovery. Thanks!

Linda: He is overwhelming, indeed. But, sigh, she's learned a thing or two by this time about gods.

Elizabeth: I just may do that, now that I'm reading everybody's reactions. Poor little forgotten story.

Shannon: I'm glad you found me, too. Thanks so much for the encouraging words. And I really enjoyed your snippet; I'm so glad you put it up.

Sarah said...

Wow! I'm with storyqueen - that scene was hot!! A very unique premise and great writing as always! I hope you go back to it soon. For totally selfish reasons. ;)

Kelly Lyman said...

I could picture this clearly. Nice descriptions. Please take this off your shelf- I want to know if that kiss ever does happen. I'm sure it would be incredible. Nectar and honey. Yum.

Melissa said...

I'm with the others. This deserves to be taken off the shelf. The premise is just too interesting! Nice job:)

Liza said...

Excellent and intriguing! Leaves you imagining all sorts of possibilities.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Sarah: Oh goodie. I'm so glad you like it. I need more hours, more days, more weeks, more years to write all these stories. But I am going to think about this one some more now.

Kelly: Thanks. She's actually trying to avoid kissing gods at this juncture.

Melissa: I guess I'm really going to have to put this on a front burner. I've got so many on fire already! Thanks.

Bethany Mattingly said...

I love that she reminds him of what happened to Daphne. Great scene!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Liza: Oh, I'm glad it's got you imagining. Yay!

Bethany: She hopes to stem that fiery passion of his with that reminder. Thanks for picking up on that!

V. S said...

I love the way you write. You have a way with words and descriptions. I want to know why she can't kiss him?!?!?

LittoMiss isuet said...

Whats the answer? Im intrigued ! (:

Myra said...

PLEASE go somewhere with this. PLEASE??? So good.

VR Barkowski said...

First, Kudos on making your 1000 word goal, Tricia! Somehow I managed to convinced myself 2010 doesn't start until Monday. :)

Love the contemporary Helen and the mythic Apollo. I, too, was drawn in by the last line. You really must pull this off the shelf. The mixture of fun and sensuality is fantastic, and I really want to know how Helen knows what she knows.

Valerie said...

This is very cool! I love the Greek God angle, and I love Helen's reactions to his touch, very realistic. I felt like I was there. I would definitely read this book. Great job!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Victoria: Thanks! She's got a serious difficulty due to a god, so she is not much in the market for another one.

Little Miss: Someday, if I can wrangle the storyline into decent shape, perhaps I can let everyone know. ;)

Myra: Wow, I'm overwhelmed and humbled with comments like yours. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

VR: It's the fun and sensuality that came alive with the god scenes. I will toss out some of the rest of what I'd done because it didn't have that voice. Now I think I know what I want this one to do. (alas, I didn't write another 1K today due to all this blogging but maybe I'll still have some energy later)

Valerie: Thank you so much. I'm feeling quite positive now about this one.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I agree with the above comments. That book deserves attention, but then, so do Hallie's and Fiona's stories. Decisions, decisions.

Kate said...

Tricia - not only is this worth pulling out again, especially in light of the recent blooming of Greek God motif in novels (yours is ready for edits and submissions!) but I am especially intrigued by the Sea Daughters title........more please!! I'd love to see the synopsis! Sounds wonderful.
voicedancer2002@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year, Tricia! Your line, "Fire in dry grass" is a riot! You are too clever and funny with lines like this!I love it!
This is one of those lines you don't forget, one I'll want to quote in the future! Haha!
Lynnerd

Hayley said...

Loved it! I'm a avid fan of Greek myths and this was so good! I wish I knew more about your story, it's so interesting!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Anon#1: I'm finishing Hallie's story first. Then I'll figure out what's next.

Kate: Thanks for your interest! I have posted a bit about Sea Daughters,which I began during NaNo. I'm working on finishing it now. Got my fingers crossed.

Anon#2: Ha! Glad you had fun. It's nice to think I wrote an unforgettable line!

KM said...

I love a good spin on Greek mythology, and the Apollo/Artemis duo was always one of my favs. Your premises sounds awesome!

Nicole said...

*languid smile*

Mmm...too bad...I'll bet he was all nice and warm and delicious....

*snaps out of it*

Hm? What? Oh. Sorry. I was um.......yeah. ;D

Vicky said...

Beautifully written!

C R Ward said...

Oh my, almost kissed by a god! I loved this!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Hi Hayley! I wish I knew more about it, too. I have some serious plot-planning to do on it, now that I've decided on the tone.

KM: Thank you! I'm doing some fun stuff with Artemis, too, but I'm keeping that my little secret for the moment. ;)

Nicole! He's dangerous, girl, but rather luscious, I admit.

Vicky and CR: Thanks so much!

Bish Denham said...

Great almost kiss scene! I'm also a sucker for anything mythological.

Jemi Fraser said...

Nice scene! Sounds like a lot of tension coming their way - should be fun! :)

Diana Paz said...

Oh wow, this story is right up my alley. I LOVE Greek mythology, and I wish I could read the actual kiss! Nice writing :)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Bish, Jemi, Diana: Thank you all so much. This has been such a fun festival.

Sara McClung ♥ said...

I'm such a sucker for chiseled jaws & cheekbones! I love the idea of this story :-)

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

I love Greek mythology. What a way to bring it to life. I hope you get back to this book. Sounds intriguing. Well done.

Sharon Gerlach said...

Oh, excellent! I always love modern takes on Greek mythology. This story sounds like a lot of fun. Wonderful use of fragmented sentences to show Helen's muddled state of mind at the moment. I'm fond of fragments myself--damn the grammar, fragments ahead. Or something like that. ;-)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Sara: Indeed. He has a little corner on that chiseled market. ;)

Carolina: Welcome and thanks! I think I'm going to have some fun with this.

Sharon: I confess to liking fragments when appropriate. We talk that way, think that way. Glad to meet you!

Lisa and Laura said...

Tricia - This is incredibly well done. I loved it! Please, please finish it so I can read it someday!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

LiLa: Okay, for you I'll finish it. Someday. Really. I'd love to, but it's gonna be a tiger to write, because of the premise, which I can't tell anybody right now cuz it's too weird. heh-heh

Nora MacFarlane said...

Oh! I loved this scene! I hope you pull this one off the shelf.

Angela said...

Intriguing excerpt! I love the forbidden passion you bring to it!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Welcome, Nora, thank you for the encouragement!

Hey, Angela, woo-hoo! Thanks so much.

Wendy said...

Aww man, can't they just kiss? I mean I know it's the whole point but it's just so delicious. *sigh*. I think now we need another kissing day to satisfy all the frustrations built from reading so many almost kisses.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Wendy: Ha! Perhaps we shall have many of these blogfests to satisfy are swooning needs. It sure was fun.

Nishant said...

That sounds like a story

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