Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Testing the Teaser

Being slow on the uptake, I notice today that several bloggers are posting little snippets of WIP and call it Teaser Tuesday. So why not continue my challenge-taking of late? This is from the first chapter of a YA fantasy in which the king has summoned Fiona and other sixteen-year-old girls to consider their futures. Fiona is accompanied by her only relative, her great aunt:

“Lady Celia,” the king said without taking his stone-gray eyes from Fiona, “it has not escaped me that your young charge has unusual occurrences around her, whether it’s the way she can calm the most wild-eyed horse or whether it’s the more mysterious issue of what she has done with her little songs.”
Neither Fiona nor her great-aunt moved or spoke. Fiona’s heart pounded so violently she thought the whole room must hear it.
“Did you think I would not notice a slip of a child standing alone on a freezing morning singing to the bare cherry trees? Did you think I was blind to pink blossoms bursting on the barren limbs, or deaf to people running out of the castle, exclaiming that spring had come early? But the flowers turned to ice, and you grabbed Fiona’s arm, scolding. Some may have thought it a miracle or aberration. I believe it was the girl.”
Lady Celia stirred, a jerky movement, and her voice came out cracked, “Sire, her silly singing at inappropriate times and places has long plagued me. It is a nuisance for which she has been punished.” Her voice gathered more of its usual assurance as she added, “I regret if it has caused you any disturbance. I can send her to a friend in the country until she learns her manners.”
The king laughed, but it was not a pleasant sound. “I’m not talking about manners, Lady Celia. The girl has magic, and no one may do magic without my command.”

17 comments:

Andrea Cremer said...

Oooh, I'm intrigued and I love that her magic comes from song.

PJ Hoover said...

ooh, I've never done the teaser. Maybe I'll post a bit of The Navel of the World when it comes out.

Donna said...

I definitely want to read more! This teaser reminds me of "hint fiction" as listed recently on CWROPPS-b@yahoogroups.com (Creative Writing Opportunities). Writers can contribute to an upcoming anthology of stand-alone shorts that hint of a larger work. For more, you can visit http://robertswartwood.com/? page=8

Stephanie Faris said...

Teaser Tuesday. What a great idea!

I love it. I write YA too, although mine is more of the contemporary romance variety.

Tess said...

love the image of her singing to the cherry trees. beautiful.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Andrea: Oh, I'm glad you like that. Yes, she is all about the music, a very different magic.

PJ: Cool. I'll look forward to that, for sure.

Donna: Thanks for the tip on hint fiction, sounds fascinating.

Stephanie: Hope you post some of your contemporary romance; I'd love to read it.

Tess: It's one of my favorite images of her childhood (which I know but is obviously backstory). I'm tickled that you like it, too.

Suzanne said...

I read this. I read it again. And again. You are creating art here. It transcends story.

Brave voice. Great images. I know what the king looks like, I see the castle. Bravo.

Shelli said...

love the magic song tie in. Interesting.

MG Higgins said...

Cool! Combined with your first page I read the other day, I'm definitely hooked!

Sliding on the Edge said...

Very cool. Love magic in any shape or form, and in song it's the best. Nice idea to post a snippit of your WIP. And you get some interesting feedback.


I'll have s'more, please.

Sliding on the Edge said...

Still love the Matilija picture so much. Wrote a short story called Matilijas a long time ago. You've made me think about resurrecting it. Thanks.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Suzanne: ohmygoodness, thank you so much. I hope I can live up to the praise. I tend to see a lot of creaking ice in front of me, ;)

Shelli: I think my music-magic is unusual. We shall see...

Melissa: Oh goodey, I'm so glad you're hooked! That means a lot to me.

Sliding/Lee: Thanks. Yes, I'm going to do the teasers again. It's fun. Maybe I'll even pick parts of older works, blow the dust off, see what reactions they get.
I'm excited that my photo is bringing your matilija story back to life. They are the most extraordinary flowers.

Robyn Campbell said...

Great excerpt Tricia. I love the flowers turned to ice. Magic and the King. And no one can do magic without his command. Great stuff. Can't wait to read more! :)

BJW said...

ooh! I like it. You set me up good with the king. I wanna know what the heck happens next! Please write, publish, sell to me. I want it.

: )

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Robyn: Thanks!

BJW: Thanks, too! Now I just have to live up to the expectations (no pressure, of course)

Abby said...

Great snippet! Love the imagery! :)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Abby: Thanks! We'll see what survives each successive revision. I'm on the second draft currently. It's a great adventure.