Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I'm out to sea


Have you ever walked out of your shoes? Gone Away to the Other Place?
Do people give you odd looks as you sleepwalk through supermarkets or try to remember why you came in the first place? Perhaps, someone sends you gentle e-mails asking how you're doing. Or leaves a little food offering on your doorstep.
I confess I've been immersed in the watery world of Sea Daughters, my new novel-in-progress begun for NaNoWriMo.
I'm sticking my head up to shout out that last night I passed 20K. How this is happening I don't know, because sometimes I'm sure I can not keep up this pace. But here I am and I chose to think it has to do with that magical Other Place.
In celebration I will share a page from what I've been channeling through my mind and fingers. For your reading pleasure, hopefully:
The sun was newly risen, shedding golden light on the sand and water. Hallie had left home as soon as her dad drove off to work. She was wearing a bikini under old sweats. She would have to tuck the clothing in a safe place where she could find it later.
She tried to spot Ondine in the water. A line of pelicans swooped in sync along the lip of a cresting wave, their wing tips almost brushing the surface.
Where was Ondine? There were a few surfers out, mostly down at the pier and T Street. She and Ondine had picked this area south of there where they could use Seal Rock as a landmark. She could hear the sea lions barking and the echo of waves projecting off the cliffs behind her.
She also saw her secret door. Ever since she was small and discovered the metal-mesh door that closed off a narrow passageway into the cliff, she had imagined it was a pirate's escape route or a sealed-off entrance to the land of Faerie. That's where she would stash her clothes, she decided. Whenever Ondine showed up.
A couple of surfers crossed the railroad tracks towards the water. If Ondine didn't hurry, there would soon be a crowd and somebody would notice a girl in a bikini swimming out to sea and not returning. Wouldn't that be just great if the lifeguards and Coast Guard got called?
A hand waved half way between shore and Seal Rock. It had to be Ondine. She must be a good quarter mile out.
Hallie shrugged out of her sweats, rolled them in a ball and hid them, with her flip-flops, under a bush near the secret door. She scurried across the tracks, hip-hopped over the cold morning sand and ran straight into the chilly Pacific Ocean. As she dove under the first wave, she felt like she'd been tossed in an ice bath. She emerged, gasping.
This was either the stupidest or bravest thing she had ever agreed to do.

19 comments:

storyqueen said...

The stupidest or the bravest thing....yup. That really resonates. Nicely done.

I am loving that you're sharing some of your NaNO here and I am impressed with the voice in the writing. Even though you are blasting your way through this baby (20k!!!) the writing doesn't feel rushed.

The picture you paint makes me want to read more.

Keep going!

Shelley

Davin Malasarn said...

Nice passage, and I love the title of your WIP! I can't come up with a good title for mine, but I'm still having fun with it. I broke 20K last night too, coincidentally. Go us! :)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Shelley: Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Those kind of words help me keep going. :)

Davin: Woo-hoo, you! Go us, indeed.

Robyn Campbell said...

Tricia, great writing my friend. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and I love Hallie. Also I could hear the waves and smell the salt water. I'm originally from the Keys so this brought up a lot of memories. I haven't been back in about four years. I love it. Keep on, keepin' on. Oh and I wanna read more!

MAY THE MUSE STAY WITH YOU! :)

Bish Denham said...

Keep up the great work! I too seem to be chaneling and can't believe I'm just shy of 25K!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Robyn: Glad to take you on sea tour! Thanks so much for the encouragement.

Bish: It's amazing the way the stories sometimes just pour out isn't it? Your word count is astounding!

Donna said...

This is good, Tricia. You and Hallie are a team.

Suzyhayze said...

Well well welllllllll! What do we have here? Ms. Brilliant! Great great great! OH SO GREAT!

Sarah said...

Tricia, omg your writing is fabulous!! And now I'm self-conscious that I just wrote "omg" in commenting on such a beautiful, well-written post. And just did it again.

Love the voice!
You are a NaNoWriMo MACHINE. Keep up the good work!

PS: Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog. Just what I needed to hear. :)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Donns: I like that team reference. I shall keep it in mind as I write. It's an interesting idea.

Suzanne: You just made my day!

Sarah: omg, i love that you said, omg! I am riding a high now, thanks to you and Suzanne. :D

Tabitha Bird said...

Love the 'ice bath' bit. I could feel that one. Sounds great Tricia. Thanks for your comment on my blog too :)

Stephanie Faris said...

Great job. Keep going! You're almost halfway there.

PJ Hoover said...

Whoo hoo for your 20K! And what a great excerpt! Keep writing.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Tabitha: Refreshing, huh? ;)

Stephanie: I can't believe I'm nearing the half-way mark! Thanks!

PJ: I'll take that whoohoo, thanks!

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Loved it! And glad to know we aren't writing the same story even though we share a similar idea. :) Keep up the great work.

Abby Annis said...

Great snippet! Congratulations on passing 20,000! That's awesome!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Karen: Great minds think alike but different, right??? Same right back at ya!

Abby: Really glad you liked it. Thanks!

Shelli said...

congrads on progress

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Thanks Shelli!