Wednesday, July 25, 2012

My dad

My dad is in the hospital. Very weak. Fluid around his heart. A growth on his lung.

I feel like this hat. Lost. Beat up. Waiting for the tide to carry me to the deep, as it has too many times this past year.

You'd think I'd be used to it.

I am not.

*
I have a journal I gave him as a gift (blank), which he filled up and sent back to me some years ago. I'm reading it again, seeing his life through his eyes.

Here are a few lines from his lifelong love of travel and adventure:
"Our first stop was Bermuda...the island could not hide its beauty, and I knew I would visit it again sometime, somehow." (He did indeed return and ended up living there awhile with my mother and sister.)

"Fez is built on a hill, overlooking two valleys landscaped with date and palm orchards. The city is over a thousand years old and at one time had constructed a tall wall around the outer perimeter to protect themselves from enemies. Most of the buildings are white with red slate-tiled roofs and , as you approach the city from a distance it appears to be shimmering."

At the journal's end he wrote: "Well, at least I got as far as Shanghai. I'll get another book and continue..."

21 comments:

Jemi Fraser said...

Oh, Tricia - I'm so sorry!!!! My heart goes out to you.

You've had such a rollercoaster of emotions over the past while. How nice for you to have the journal right now. I'll be thinking of you *hugs*

Jan Morrison said...

Tricia - you sound like you not only love your dad but you appreciate him. That is a treasure beyond anything. My thoughts to you and him in this part of the journey.

Wen Baragrey said...

I'm so sorry. You've had such a tough year. My thoughts are with you and your dad right now. *hugs*

Yvonne Osborne said...

With aging parents, I understand your heartache. How wonderful to have a journal of his writings. I hope he lives to fill more pages. This is something we never get used to.

Heather said...

He sounds like an amazing man with an uplifting outlook on life. (((Hugs))) to you sweetheart. I know all too well how hard this kind of thing is.

Laraine Eddington said...

I'm so sorry about your dad. I can tell where you get some of your writing talent. What a gift.

Anne Gallagher said...

That journal is such a precious gift. I'll be praying for you and your dad.

Artemis Grey said...

I'm so sorry to hear this Tricia! *hugs and good thoughts*

Julie Dao said...

I'm so sorry about your dad, Tricia. What a tough time. I'm sending the best of thoughts and wishes your way.

storyqueen said...

Thinking about you, my friend. It is never easy to stand on the sidelines as someone we love fights the ultimate battle. (((hugs)))

What an awesome gift the blank book was...getting to see the world through your father's words is an amazing legacy.

Take care,

Shelley

Laura Canon said...

So sorry to hear that. Sounds like your dad was an inspiration to you, in writing and in looking at the world.

Davin Malasarn said...

You're in my thoughts, Tricia.

Donna said...

Love the hat. I'm so glad you gave him the journal so he could record his stories. Peace.

The Golden Eagle said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts are with you both!

Sarah Wylie said...

Oh, Tricia. I'm so sorry. Thoughts and prayers are with your dad and your entire family.

*hugs*

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Thank you so much to everyone leaving comments. It means the world to me to have such support.

I debated putting up this post at all, but it is what's real for me.

Laraine Herring said...

Sending hugs and ease to you and your dad & family. My father died when I was 19 and I can very much empathize with what you're going through. I hope all the best for him and for you. Keep paying the kind of keen attention you're showing us in this post. Blessings, Laraine

Bish Denham said...

Oh Pat... What a gift you have in that journal, his words hugging you, always.

I am sending healing thoughts his way, your way.

Sarah Laurence said...

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family. This has been a hard year for you. I can see where you got your writing gene.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

I sent emails to all of you which bounced back. I don't know if it was Blogger or Yahoo, but I want you all to know how much it meant to me to have these wonderful comments.

Faith Pray said...

I'm so sorry, Tricia. It is so beautiful to hear about your father's journal and the way you were able to connect through this. I'm so sorry about your dad.